Meilin's Last Letter
by Hito to aoi
Summary: Rated for safety. Songfic about Meilin and one last letter good-bye to Sakura, Shaoran and Tomoyo. She loves Shaoran too much and can't take it. Song: My immortal- Evanescence. No flames please. R


Disclaimer: I've never owned Cardcaptor Sakura. Never will.

This is all in Meilin's P.O.V. until the first chorus. For all you Meilin-lovers out there... I hope you don't hate me for this, but this was a request from my friend, who also is a Meilin-fan. Please don't hate me! It's my first time posting on Arigatou!

_I'm so tired of being here  
Surpress by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish you would just leave  
'Cause your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone _

It's been a year since you told me you loved her. It broke me and you didn't even see that. I said that I would give you up, and that I wanted someone who would like only me but... I just can't forget you. You're the world to me, Shaoran. I love you more than anything, but I know I can't get you back. I wish you'd see that...

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much  
That time cannot erase _

I know I promised I'd be happy for you, but I just hurts. I cry myself to sleep every night, knowing that this feeling for you will never go away. I love you, more than anything else. Please forgive me not only for being in your way, but for loving you so violently... It hurts... It really really hurts...

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
And when you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me... _

Meilin sat there on her bed, with only one person on her mind. Shaoran. She knew that Sakura loved him, and he loved her in return. Meilin knew that she had given him up, but it was all to keep him happy. She wasn't part of the picture anymore. As soon as she heard that Sakura had finally told Shaoran that she loved him, it hit her... Hard and fast... It hit her that from then on, there would never be a Shaoran and Meilin. No, it would be Shaoran and Sakura.  
She loved him. With all her heart, Meilin loved him, but she knew he would never return it. Meilin started to cry, ignoring the the fact that Shaoran, Sakura and Tomoyo were just in the other room. Sakura and Tomoyo had come to visit in Hong Kong again. Meilin had struggled to keep that fake smile on for a little longer, but she couldn't. It didn't matter anyways. No one had come to even check up on her, so she figured why try fooling herself any longer.

_You used to captivate me  
By your resinating light  
Now I'm blind by the light you left behind  
Your face it hauntsMy once pleasant dreams  
Your voice... It chased away all the sanity in me... _

Meilin couldn't stand the pain anymore. With tears trailing down her cheeks, she struggled to find her drawer, half blinded by tears. She took out her favorite pencil and one of her favorite kinds of stationary paper... The one she had been saving to tell Shaoran on Valentine's day just how much he meant to her. She wrote down in her finest handwriting, making each and every last character she wrote neat, as she had decided, they would be the last characters she would ever write.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much  
That time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
And when you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me... _

The note read:

I'm so sorry. I couldn't live with myself anymore. I love you, Shaoran. I've tried so hard not to think of you, but it's like torture. It's the rain that never ceases to fall on my world. I'm completely torn up, and I hope you won't hate me for leaving. I'm sorry... Take care.  
Meilin

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me  
I been alone all along _

She slowly walked to Shaoran's room, going quietly so she wouldn't be noticed. She took out his large sword and marveled at it one last time as she walked back to her room. Even if it was dulled, she'd find some way to use it. She was going Shaoran's sword, to symbolize how tortured by him she felt. She took a deep breath and held it as far back as she could away from her chest, handle being the farthest away from her.

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
And when you'd scream I'd fight away all your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me... _

A few moments later, she layed there. She had managed to use what little strength she had in her to get the sword out of her chest. She had missed her heart, but that was intentional. She took a few final breathes and let go. Now she wouldn't be able to feel the pain that poured from her heart, just as the blood poured from her chest...

Well... there ya go! I know it's a little, um. much. But I couldn't help it. I hoped you liked it. Please R&R!!!!

**Again**... I'm so sorry for killing Meilin! She was one of my favorite characters too! Please no flames!

Also, this is not to induce people into commiting suicide if someone loves you. This is just a sad fic that I felt like writing. DON'T COMMIT SUICIDE!!! Arigatou.  
Tai-chan


End file.
